When I was pregnant, I was fairly certain I would be breastfeeding. I researched pumps and got the best one I could get for what Id pay for it. I bought nursing tops and other helpful stuff I would definitely be needing.
I was so determined to get through whatever pain I had. I knew it was going to be rough because my boobs have some differences. I was a week over-due, so I had been pumping to get labor going. I found it to be uncomfortable, but definitely do-able. I was pretty empowered that I knew at least I could pump for a good while. I knew it would be hard to do it forever, but I would be able to do this... right???
Labor was long. Rough. Augmented. Not my body doing it. Not my body preparing for Jack naturally.
Then, here comes this beautiful little thing. He was warm. He was soft. I snuggled him close to me. He was so sweet and clean and fat! Then they warn me. Im a redhead with no pigment in my skin. This was gonna hurt. Jack was also hungry. hAngry. He latched and I screamed. Im pretty sure I said "I cant!" several times.
It hurt like holy effing hell. I tried later with a LC. Nope. She shook her head and hugged me as I sobbed. I mean, literally, sobbed. Like, ugly cried for days. She told me she had never seen someone as sensitive as I was. She basically told me to give up, which is awful. Shame on her.
I have a friend who had a really rough time until her milk came in. Then it was fine. So I had hope still (barely). I pumped. He latched. I pumped. Nothing. Not a freaking drop. Not 1 single drop. I have googled this. I didnt understand how I couldnt get anything out of me. I still dont, but figure the ducts were clogged because of the colostrum not moving. This had still worked for others. Why not me?
So my Jack is on formula. This has been awesome. I had surgery right after he was born. Im fairly convinced this would have been terrible for our breastfeeding, if not it's end. So, I mean, I feel it was doomed anyways.
I still see alot of people out there who are "lactivists." They dont bother me. Im really glad that they are spreading the word about how awesome breastmilk is. I know. I wanted it for my baby. I even get kind of judgey when people arent having problems but quit anyways. I get it.
But then I see quotes like, "Bottles feed a baby's stomach, but breastfeeding feeds his soul" or something to that effect.
And people calling all mothers who don't breastfeed selfish and assuming it's so you dont have to be attached to your baby all day and night.
Seeing a "quiz" about what type of mother you are- all the questions about how soon you started formula, and anything before 6 weeks falling in line with the "ghetto mama," "Parent-centric" Parent.
I shake my head so hard at that. I love my kid and I am all about his health, his happiness, and his well-being. It's not because I didnt want it. It's not because I wanted to sleep. Can a lactivist please inform my breasts that they were supposed to give up all that wonderful milk they made for my baby?...
As far as it being much better for the baby- I had Jack the "right, natural way." Im really thankful that my body was able to do that, despite many things working against it. I do not ask people in the store what way their baby came out. Natural delivery is much better for mom and baby. Do I ask? Do I question their decision? The decision was made at some point. Do I ask them if they knew the benefits of a natural delivery? No. Because their body was obviously not cooperating with their desires. I dont feel the need to make them feel like they failed their baby by "caving." It's really none of my business. I see their baby is happy and thriving. I see mom is happy.
Then I look at my baby. I giggle when he puts his forehead to mine and so does he. He fell asleep today while I made tickle bugs run up and down his back and slept for an hour on my arm. He gets so excited when he sees me come home that he doesnt even know what to do. I know his cries, his sounds, his faces.
My soul is attached to Jack's and his is attached to me. I worked hard for that, and my breasts have nothing to do with it. My heart does.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Having a newborn definitely does change things
6:30 AM
Pre-baby: The time Jeff got off work, rarely seen by me.
Post-baby- That magical finish line of my night that I know without a doubt I can sleep til... 9.
SLEEP
Pre-baby: Something that just occurs around 12am, usually after a bit of relaxing, texting, or playing online; sleep lasts well into the morning.
Post-baby: 2 definitions: 1. Jack's time to give Mommy funny smiles or do his sweet baby singing
2. A hot commodity that is needed less and less, yet some how more and more as Mommy goes.
POOP
Pre-baby: A naturally occurring event, rarely thought of or spoken about
Post-baby- A subject brought up daily and mildly celebrated when it comes around
A SHOWER
Pre-baby: A time where I stand naked under water where I can take my time, shave, leave the conditioner in my hair, listen to music, etc
Post-baby: A time (only after Jack is fed, burped, and changed) where I stand naked under water, with the shower curtain half open so Jack can see me, while I wave to him with a big goofy smile on my face, yelling "Hi JackJack! Mommy's almost done!" (as he stares blankly at me)
 |
| At first I was all like... childless |
 |
| But then I was all like... "Ill be right there!" |
DINNER
Pre-baby: A highlight of our day, cooked with love, and usually pretty good.
Post-baby: 2 definitions: 1. A usually burnt meal usually served whenever the hell it gets on the table 2. A meal Mommy usually finishes eating in about 10 minutes.
ALCOHOL
Pre-baby: A little thing that I liked to enjoy on occasion, and really enjoyed it when I did.
Post-baby: A Mommy-treat I will most likely not enjoy until at least 2022 without some apprehension.
DOWN TIME
Pre-baby: An enjoyable time spent recreating or relaxing
Post-baby: see NAP-TIME: An enjoyable time spent recreating or relaxing... that I know I should be using for sleep or housework.
 |
| Here Honey--Love you! |
SEX
Pre-baby: A thing that we enjoyed as much as the next couple
Post-baby: A thing rarely thought of, much less attempted, much less succeeded
MONSTER
Pre-baby: An imaginary being that is scary
Post-baby: An endearment term when our kid growls or devours his food; Also, Lizzie
BABIES CRYING
Pre-baby: An annoying occurance happening to other people, usually in the store, usually provoking thoughts like, "Someone get that kid a boob or a bottle!"
Post-baby: A heart-breaking noise that makes me want to fix whatever is wrong, as fast as possible, and gives me great Mommy-pride when I make it better.
INTUITION
Pre-baby: A good or bad feeling you get on occasion about certain people, places, or events.
Post-baby: Something you know your kid has when his record for waking up when you lay down is about 8/10. Something you know you have when you start figuring out you know how to be a parent.
 |
| In my home... On my home |
THE COUCH
Pre-baby: A place to socialize, eat, or watch TV
Post-baby: The comfiest place, lowest to his RockNPlay, nearest the kitchen, and therefore, my new home.
SMILES
Pre-baby: A pretty automatic response to something funny or sweet
Post-baby: On my sons face... I cant even describe the feeling, but its shiny, and somehow instantly makes me cry. Also, gives me some hope that hes happy and Im doing ok.
Friday, June 15, 2012
The Whole Big Birth Story
6/2 D-Day- Nada.
6/6 Dr. Lunt stripped my membranes and brought on some early labor signs but nothing insane.
6/7 I was having painful contractions but only every 6-10 minutes. Sometimes I would even go longer than 20 minutes without one. So I called Lunt and wanted to know if it was frequency we were wanting or pain level. He sent me in to get checked which annoyed me because I knew I was just going to be sent home. The nurse checking me really did get my labor moving. That, however, just made me have more painful contractions and not going anywhere.
6/9 Induction Day! We got the call to come in at 6:30 am. We were thrilled! I was already dialated to a 2 and 90%. They instantly started my IV and got the pitocin going. It made it more painful for sure, but I was handling it ok, but my back was so awful. Every contraction was just insane pressure in my back. Jeff was so amazing about helping me through the pain. He was so calm and reassuring.
The Epidural- My goal originally was to go as long as possible to avoid pit, but I was already on the pit so I asked Lunt if we had a goal to get to and he said go ahead and get it whenever since I was already going. I caved at 3 (which took an hour and half of contractions to get there). I had been in pain since the 6th and I was done. About the time I was going on and on about how amazing the epi was, I started to feel a little nauseous. Everyone showed up about the time that I got it (around 10:30). I got very sick and the nurse checked my blood pressure. 90/55. She had warned me about it lowering my BP, but we had no idea it would tank it. I got down into the 80s several times and started feeling awful. Then came the itching. Then came the shaking. The doctor had to give me alot of medicine to get my BP up. It was getting a little crazy.
The Long Night- I cannot describe how weird it was to feel nothing but have your body working so insanely hard. I was having contraction after contraction but was dialating very slowly. I was still sick and that whole night is kind of a blur. I was unbelievably sore from shaking so much. I was going out of my mind from the itchiness. I broke down a little and cried. I told the nurse that I didnt think I was going to be able to push. She agreed and told me to sleep as much as I can. 2x I had everybody go out for a bit so I could rest.
A Little Scare- The nurse ran in and I looked at Jack's heart monitor. It was 77! Usually in the 120-150s). I was so tired it did even register. They threw some internal monitors on his little head. We were just laying on the cord. By the time I delivered we had 2 separate internal monitors for my contractions and the baby. Apparently we were being tricky.
Time To Push- Around 5am, they woke me up to push. I was shaking so bad- half from nerves, half from the epi. They tried to explain how to do it, but I was totally numb. So I kind of guessed and apparently guessed right. I was pushing well. I tore as soon as he descended just a little bit, so that terrified me, but I didnt have much more of an issue after that.
Apparently I kept saying "Im tired!" It didnt hurt, but my lord it was hard to push. Jeff was amazing! He was cheering me on. He seemed so amazed (and a little grossed out) by what was going on. Mid push, 2 of my assistants literally ran out of the room. I look at the nurse and ask "Are they coming back?" She said she didnt know but lets keep going. So it was just her and Jeff and my mom holding my shoulders up. Diane was great too.
So after just an hour and 15 minutes, I was crowning. The aid (who did eventually come back) asked me if I wanted to feel his head. I was like "Nah-" but she instisted and Im glad she did. It was cool. I also got to hear he had dark hair before he was born. Again, a little creepy, but kind of cool too.
Dr. Lunt came in, and 2 pushes later, we had a baby! I could tell something wasnt quite right because Dr. Lunt kept him upside down and was doing something I couldnt see. He said "I think we had a bowel movement." It seemed like he did it in the descent so none of it was in his lungs- thank god. Apparently I had a panicked look on my face because the nurse told me he was still attached, so he was fine. He finally turned him the right way and lifted him up.
The first thing I thought was "Oh my gosh he looks just like Jeff!" They laid him on my tummy and Jeff cut the cord. They had to take him because of the bm and make sure he was all good. I got some stitches and asked about how everything looked. I kept asking if Jack should be crying more. Apparently he was doing well, just quiet. He was so beautiful.
Breastfeeding: I knew things were going to be a difficult since I have some boob issues already. Then, the nurse helping me with breastfeeding asked me if I was a natural red-head. She sighed and said, "Im going to warn you that because your skin has so little pigmentation, this is going to be painful." I wasnt quite ready and my nerves were still kind of shot and I still wasnt feeling well at all. It hurt so bad! Every time he latched on it was just terrible, terrible pain. I hadnt eaten in 24 hours and was starving. I could tell he was terribly hungry too. They tried a few times, and I literally broke out into a sob. I wanted to breastfeed so bad, but at that point, I knew I wouldnt be able to. I didnt give up, but I had a really bad feeling I wasnt going to be able to do it.
I understood how hungry and miserable he must feel, and I couldnt help him. I was so heartbroken. It was so important to me, but it just wasnt working. They called a lactation consultant. It didnt help that I was so emotional about the whole thing. I pretty much cried the whole time. She gave me a hug, a pump, and said "good luck." I was waiting for my milk to come in and figured it would be alot easier once it did. It came in, and I pumped and pumped and pumped and nothing. Not a freaking drop.
I was so sick for the first 20-30 minutes after he was born. The breastfeeding was a disaster and I was just wanting to get my baby and go to the recovery room so I could bond with him. I felt like I was loosing precious moments to hold him because I was such a mess. Thank god they pulled my epi. I felt instantly better.
At the end of the day, I got to wrap him up in my gown and do skin-to-skin. I loved every second. He was so precious and loved him so much. It was awesome to see Jeff with him. He is such a good daddy.
6/6 Dr. Lunt stripped my membranes and brought on some early labor signs but nothing insane.
6/7 I was having painful contractions but only every 6-10 minutes. Sometimes I would even go longer than 20 minutes without one. So I called Lunt and wanted to know if it was frequency we were wanting or pain level. He sent me in to get checked which annoyed me because I knew I was just going to be sent home. The nurse checking me really did get my labor moving. That, however, just made me have more painful contractions and not going anywhere.
6/9 Induction Day! We got the call to come in at 6:30 am. We were thrilled! I was already dialated to a 2 and 90%. They instantly started my IV and got the pitocin going. It made it more painful for sure, but I was handling it ok, but my back was so awful. Every contraction was just insane pressure in my back. Jeff was so amazing about helping me through the pain. He was so calm and reassuring.
The Epidural- My goal originally was to go as long as possible to avoid pit, but I was already on the pit so I asked Lunt if we had a goal to get to and he said go ahead and get it whenever since I was already going. I caved at 3 (which took an hour and half of contractions to get there). I had been in pain since the 6th and I was done. About the time I was going on and on about how amazing the epi was, I started to feel a little nauseous. Everyone showed up about the time that I got it (around 10:30). I got very sick and the nurse checked my blood pressure. 90/55. She had warned me about it lowering my BP, but we had no idea it would tank it. I got down into the 80s several times and started feeling awful. Then came the itching. Then came the shaking. The doctor had to give me alot of medicine to get my BP up. It was getting a little crazy.
The Long Night- I cannot describe how weird it was to feel nothing but have your body working so insanely hard. I was having contraction after contraction but was dialating very slowly. I was still sick and that whole night is kind of a blur. I was unbelievably sore from shaking so much. I was going out of my mind from the itchiness. I broke down a little and cried. I told the nurse that I didnt think I was going to be able to push. She agreed and told me to sleep as much as I can. 2x I had everybody go out for a bit so I could rest.
A Little Scare- The nurse ran in and I looked at Jack's heart monitor. It was 77! Usually in the 120-150s). I was so tired it did even register. They threw some internal monitors on his little head. We were just laying on the cord. By the time I delivered we had 2 separate internal monitors for my contractions and the baby. Apparently we were being tricky.
Time To Push- Around 5am, they woke me up to push. I was shaking so bad- half from nerves, half from the epi. They tried to explain how to do it, but I was totally numb. So I kind of guessed and apparently guessed right. I was pushing well. I tore as soon as he descended just a little bit, so that terrified me, but I didnt have much more of an issue after that.
Apparently I kept saying "Im tired!" It didnt hurt, but my lord it was hard to push. Jeff was amazing! He was cheering me on. He seemed so amazed (and a little grossed out) by what was going on. Mid push, 2 of my assistants literally ran out of the room. I look at the nurse and ask "Are they coming back?" She said she didnt know but lets keep going. So it was just her and Jeff and my mom holding my shoulders up. Diane was great too.
So after just an hour and 15 minutes, I was crowning. The aid (who did eventually come back) asked me if I wanted to feel his head. I was like "Nah-" but she instisted and Im glad she did. It was cool. I also got to hear he had dark hair before he was born. Again, a little creepy, but kind of cool too.
Dr. Lunt came in, and 2 pushes later, we had a baby! I could tell something wasnt quite right because Dr. Lunt kept him upside down and was doing something I couldnt see. He said "I think we had a bowel movement." It seemed like he did it in the descent so none of it was in his lungs- thank god. Apparently I had a panicked look on my face because the nurse told me he was still attached, so he was fine. He finally turned him the right way and lifted him up.
The first thing I thought was "Oh my gosh he looks just like Jeff!" They laid him on my tummy and Jeff cut the cord. They had to take him because of the bm and make sure he was all good. I got some stitches and asked about how everything looked. I kept asking if Jack should be crying more. Apparently he was doing well, just quiet. He was so beautiful.
Breastfeeding: I knew things were going to be a difficult since I have some boob issues already. Then, the nurse helping me with breastfeeding asked me if I was a natural red-head. She sighed and said, "Im going to warn you that because your skin has so little pigmentation, this is going to be painful." I wasnt quite ready and my nerves were still kind of shot and I still wasnt feeling well at all. It hurt so bad! Every time he latched on it was just terrible, terrible pain. I hadnt eaten in 24 hours and was starving. I could tell he was terribly hungry too. They tried a few times, and I literally broke out into a sob. I wanted to breastfeed so bad, but at that point, I knew I wouldnt be able to. I didnt give up, but I had a really bad feeling I wasnt going to be able to do it.
I understood how hungry and miserable he must feel, and I couldnt help him. I was so heartbroken. It was so important to me, but it just wasnt working. They called a lactation consultant. It didnt help that I was so emotional about the whole thing. I pretty much cried the whole time. She gave me a hug, a pump, and said "good luck." I was waiting for my milk to come in and figured it would be alot easier once it did. It came in, and I pumped and pumped and pumped and nothing. Not a freaking drop.
I was so sick for the first 20-30 minutes after he was born. The breastfeeding was a disaster and I was just wanting to get my baby and go to the recovery room so I could bond with him. I felt like I was loosing precious moments to hold him because I was such a mess. Thank god they pulled my epi. I felt instantly better.
At the end of the day, I got to wrap him up in my gown and do skin-to-skin. I loved every second. He was so precious and loved him so much. It was awesome to see Jeff with him. He is such a good daddy.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Sleep cycles
We finally have some sort of sleep cycle and its so cool! It makes him seem like more of a baby and less of little unformed guy
I think hes awake at night when I sleep because he used to wake me up all the time- but now I am so tired, I dont get woken up by his kicks.
He wakes up during breakfast
He usually sleeps after
He usually wakes up some time in the afternoon but it varies on what Im doing
He sleeps until dinner. Sometimes he doesnt wake up til well after dinner, but hes usually up in the evening for a while.
Sleeps after that
Wakes up for me to say goodnight before I go to bed usually after 11. Its so sweet!
I think hes awake at night when I sleep because he used to wake me up all the time- but now I am so tired, I dont get woken up by his kicks.
He wakes up during breakfast
He usually sleeps after
He usually wakes up some time in the afternoon but it varies on what Im doing
He sleeps until dinner. Sometimes he doesnt wake up til well after dinner, but hes usually up in the evening for a while.
Sleeps after that
Wakes up for me to say goodnight before I go to bed usually after 11. Its so sweet!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Working on the dresser
Cant wait to show everyone the final project!
Jeff painted this whole dresser pretty much by himself. It looks awesome. Its grey- not white. Its a super white-grey.
Im so thankful Em and Mom let us have this dresser. I wanted it so bad!I so wish I had a before picture! It was a princess dresser with lots of pink and purple.
My inspiration!
Jeff painted this whole dresser pretty much by himself. It looks awesome. Its grey- not white. Its a super white-grey.
Im so thankful Em and Mom let us have this dresser. I wanted it so bad!I so wish I had a before picture! It was a princess dresser with lots of pink and purple.
My inspiration!
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Jeff's birthday! I love this man!
Jeff's 30 now! Woohoo
Mom got Jeff this :)
Our birthday celebrations started off with a really nice dinner at Red Lobster. It was FABULOUS! The food was absolutely great, and it was just a really nice time out. (Thanks Mom and Matt!)
Then we met up with Mom, Dan, Em, and Gram for cake and presents. I felt absolutely terrible because I was supposed to get Jeff's present done before dinner but I didnt have time! I suck!
(good lawd Im getting big!)
So we ate my delicious homemade cake which was pretty good. The frosting was a little too fluffy for the heaviness of the cake, but hey- it worked out.
Recipie here
Then Jeff opened his gift(cards :) ) Only thing you can get this man, I swear!
The next day I spent all afternoon getting Jeff's car detailed and getting new car seat covers. So glad I figured out something to do for him.
Love you baby
Mom got Jeff this :)
Our birthday celebrations started off with a really nice dinner at Red Lobster. It was FABULOUS! The food was absolutely great, and it was just a really nice time out. (Thanks Mom and Matt!)
Then we met up with Mom, Dan, Em, and Gram for cake and presents. I felt absolutely terrible because I was supposed to get Jeff's present done before dinner but I didnt have time! I suck!
(good lawd Im getting big!)
So we ate my delicious homemade cake which was pretty good. The frosting was a little too fluffy for the heaviness of the cake, but hey- it worked out.
Recipie here
Then Jeff opened his gift(cards :) ) Only thing you can get this man, I swear!
The next day I spent all afternoon getting Jeff's car detailed and getting new car seat covers. So glad I figured out something to do for him.
Love you baby
Monday, March 5, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
My little man
That's what I almost exclusively call him when I don't call him Jack. And in a weird way- I see him as a man. Its like- of course he is a baby- but he is a little man. I guess its because men are still sort of this conundrum for me. I still cant believe Jeff and I are going to be raising a man up from this little dude jumping around.
I was looking at this picture of Jeff when he was maybe 2. It was Christmas and he opened a little people's plane set. I thought of his mom and how amazing it must be to have this tall, strong man hug her when she has had him since he was an infant. Of course Jeff isnt perfect, but he doesnt struggle with much. It trips me out that he was ever an immature little teenager, or a mad baby who cant get something, or had his feelings hurt as a kid. He just seems so manly to me. It scares me, because I feel like I know so little about raising a man, but thats one of many really awesome things about having Jeff.
I am not ashamed to say I wanted a girl. Thats beyond weird to me to even type that. Now, that I have a boy, it's like waiting to go on a blind date. I have nooo idea what to expect. Thats so exciting to me! Its like meeting another Jeff, and another me, and another part of my family and my genes. In an even trippy-er way, meeting our parents, grandparents and great grandparents over again. All these people in this one little baby.
I cant imagine what itll be like for our parents to see him. "Hey! Theres a copy of my kid, but small and cute again! And dang- theres really my kid- and now she knows so much more about life. Now's she more me than she was before."
These random ramblings brought to you by one of my most favorite songs
I was looking at this picture of Jeff when he was maybe 2. It was Christmas and he opened a little people's plane set. I thought of his mom and how amazing it must be to have this tall, strong man hug her when she has had him since he was an infant. Of course Jeff isnt perfect, but he doesnt struggle with much. It trips me out that he was ever an immature little teenager, or a mad baby who cant get something, or had his feelings hurt as a kid. He just seems so manly to me. It scares me, because I feel like I know so little about raising a man, but thats one of many really awesome things about having Jeff.
I am not ashamed to say I wanted a girl. Thats beyond weird to me to even type that. Now, that I have a boy, it's like waiting to go on a blind date. I have nooo idea what to expect. Thats so exciting to me! Its like meeting another Jeff, and another me, and another part of my family and my genes. In an even trippy-er way, meeting our parents, grandparents and great grandparents over again. All these people in this one little baby.
I cant imagine what itll be like for our parents to see him. "Hey! Theres a copy of my kid, but small and cute again! And dang- theres really my kid- and now she knows so much more about life. Now's she more me than she was before."
These random ramblings brought to you by one of my most favorite songs
Pregnancy nightmares
There are a few things about pregnancy that I didnt expect. Like the constant stains on the belly part of my shirt from cooking. Or that Jack's kicks sometimes hurt. Or how real nesting is...
but another thing I didnt expect is the dreams! I posted about my RuPaul dream earlier- today, funny enough, I had a nightmare about Conservatives.
I dreamt that we were going for a doctor's visit and the hospital was right down the street from our house. Everything was fine when we went in. We left, but I remembered that they didnt check Jack's heart, so we went back. When we got there, there was about 5 women with signs protesting Planned Parenthood and had the gall to say something about me going in to have an abortion.
I snapped back at them that me and 99% of the women coming in were here to get prenatal care (There wasnt even a Planned Parenthood in the building)
So we go in, come back out, and the crowd was enormous. Apparently my "liberal" comments were made well aware to the crowd.
We made it home, no problem- until a man came into our hose and started loading up a bag with our stuff. Jeff made me go in our room and call the cops. He confronted the man and all I could hear him saying was "LIBERAL SCUM! YOU DONT DESERVE ANY OF THIS!" So the 911 lady said she would send someone and I pulled out my mace from my purse.
I walked over to the man who was furiously (mindlessly) loading up on the stupidest stuff from our house we didnt even care about. I told him "Im going to spray you if you dont leave" He didnt leave, and I sprayed him. He was undeterred, but hurt none the less. We went outside and waited and waited and the cops never showed up, but the man appeared, freashly showered.
We went back inside and were relieved to hear foot steps coming up the porch until we realized it was 3 more people trying to break into the "liberals' house". Then I woke up all scared.
For a long while I felt like the extreme right has been blindly doing things without paying attention to anybody else but themselves (maced mobman) but then adding a little cherry on top (like trying to take away any prenatal testing or BC) that just pisses everyone off (aka maced-mob-man deciding to then take a shower in our home after robbing it) but damn! I never expected to have a freaking nightmare about it.
but another thing I didnt expect is the dreams! I posted about my RuPaul dream earlier- today, funny enough, I had a nightmare about Conservatives.
I dreamt that we were going for a doctor's visit and the hospital was right down the street from our house. Everything was fine when we went in. We left, but I remembered that they didnt check Jack's heart, so we went back. When we got there, there was about 5 women with signs protesting Planned Parenthood and had the gall to say something about me going in to have an abortion.
I snapped back at them that me and 99% of the women coming in were here to get prenatal care (There wasnt even a Planned Parenthood in the building)
So we go in, come back out, and the crowd was enormous. Apparently my "liberal" comments were made well aware to the crowd.
We made it home, no problem- until a man came into our hose and started loading up a bag with our stuff. Jeff made me go in our room and call the cops. He confronted the man and all I could hear him saying was "LIBERAL SCUM! YOU DONT DESERVE ANY OF THIS!" So the 911 lady said she would send someone and I pulled out my mace from my purse.
I walked over to the man who was furiously (mindlessly) loading up on the stupidest stuff from our house we didnt even care about. I told him "Im going to spray you if you dont leave" He didnt leave, and I sprayed him. He was undeterred, but hurt none the less. We went outside and waited and waited and the cops never showed up, but the man appeared, freashly showered.
We went back inside and were relieved to hear foot steps coming up the porch until we realized it was 3 more people trying to break into the "liberals' house". Then I woke up all scared.
For a long while I felt like the extreme right has been blindly doing things without paying attention to anybody else but themselves (maced mobman) but then adding a little cherry on top (like trying to take away any prenatal testing or BC) that just pisses everyone off (aka maced-mob-man deciding to then take a shower in our home after robbing it) but damn! I never expected to have a freaking nightmare about it.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Hey Jack
Its official: our little booger will be Jackson Walter Monteon.
I typed in "Jack" on Pinterest to see if cute stuff popped up for like personalized stuff. Instead I got a bunch of really awesome dudes.
I secretly think Jack White is super hot- but besides that nonsense-
Is there a Jack that isnt awesome?
or adorable?
While we were dating, we talked about the names Jack and Lilly.
While we were married, we talked about the names Desmond and Evangeline. (Zero correlation to Evangeline Lilly. I actually just noticed that when it was typed out.)
Then we went back to Jack. Well, Jackson. Jeff thought of the name, but as soon as I said that I liked it, he said "NO X!"
I actually shot him a dirty look. "Jaxon! No! Give me some credit!"
Walter is for Jeff's late grandfather, Walter Boyman.
We get another JWM! (Jeff's middle name is also Walter)
I typed in "Jack" on Pinterest to see if cute stuff popped up for like personalized stuff. Instead I got a bunch of really awesome dudes.
I secretly think Jack White is super hot- but besides that nonsense-
Is there a Jack that isnt awesome?
or adorable?
While we were dating, we talked about the names Jack and Lilly.
While we were married, we talked about the names Desmond and Evangeline. (Zero correlation to Evangeline Lilly. I actually just noticed that when it was typed out.)
Then we went back to Jack. Well, Jackson. Jeff thought of the name, but as soon as I said that I liked it, he said "NO X!"
I actually shot him a dirty look. "Jaxon! No! Give me some credit!"
Walter is for Jeff's late grandfather, Walter Boyman.
We get another JWM! (Jeff's middle name is also Walter)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Getting more real by the second!
Since I dont have the crib set up at all yet, I put all the stuff in the bassinet. I love it! Its hard to see but the blanket has stars in the minky part.
Thank you for the cat in the hat Emmy! Miss you guys very much!
Thank you for the cat in the hat Emmy! Miss you guys very much!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Pregnancy dreams are cracked.
So Ive been watching alot of RuPaul while Im "taking it easy." So its weird enough to dream that a gay man knocked you up... but in my defense, he is super super cute!
But it gets even weirder when your -dream man- prefers to look like this for a day job
It gets even weirder when your pregnant ass ends up in RuPaul dream land... dressing up in your 9 year old sister clothes that are inexplicably too big for your giant pregnant belly housing a gay man's baby! Ju Ju Bee was there too and I was really having a hard time. Raven/David was being very sweet and protective, but we were trying to hide the fact that it was him who got me pregnant because that would affect his street cred. Oh my brain...
Maybe Im having a little bit of a body crisis?
This still doesnt top my dream of having sex with Satan. That was interesting. I never saw his face so I cant tell you what he looked like. But he was very tall dark and handsome!
But it gets even weirder when your -dream man- prefers to look like this for a day job
It gets even weirder when your pregnant ass ends up in RuPaul dream land... dressing up in your 9 year old sister clothes that are inexplicably too big for your giant pregnant belly housing a gay man's baby! Ju Ju Bee was there too and I was really having a hard time. Raven/David was being very sweet and protective, but we were trying to hide the fact that it was him who got me pregnant because that would affect his street cred. Oh my brain...
Maybe Im having a little bit of a body crisis?
This still doesnt top my dream of having sex with Satan. That was interesting. I never saw his face so I cant tell you what he looked like. But he was very tall dark and handsome!
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