Having a newborn definitely does change things

6:30 AM

Pre-baby: The time Jeff got off work, rarely seen by me.

Post-baby- That magical finish line of my night that I know without a doubt I can sleep til... 9.

SLEEP

Pre-baby: Something that just occurs around 12am, usually after a bit of relaxing, texting, or playing online; sleep lasts well into the morning.

Post-baby: 2 definitions: 1. Jack's time to give Mommy funny smiles or do his sweet baby singing

2. A hot commodity that is needed less and less, yet some how more and more as Mommy goes.

POOP

Pre-baby: A naturally occurring event, rarely thought of or spoken about

Post-baby- A subject brought up daily and mildly celebrated when it comes around

A SHOWER

Pre-baby: A time where I stand naked under water where I can take my time, shave, leave the conditioner in my hair, listen to music, etc

Post-baby: A time (only after Jack is fed, burped, and changed) where I stand naked under water, with the shower curtain half open so Jack can see me, while I wave to him with a big goofy smile on my face, yelling "Hi JackJack! Mommy's almost done!" (as he stares blankly at me)

At first I was all like... childless

But then I was all like... "Ill be right there!"

DINNER

Pre-baby: A highlight of our day, cooked with love, and usually pretty good.

Post-baby: 2 definitions: 1. A usually burnt meal usually served whenever the hell it gets on the table 2. A meal Mommy usually finishes eating in about 10 minutes.

ALCOHOL

Pre-baby: A little thing that I liked to enjoy on occasion, and really enjoyed it when I did.

Post-baby: A Mommy-treat I will most likely not enjoy until at least 2022 without some apprehension. 

DOWN TIME

Pre-baby: An enjoyable time spent recreating or relaxing

Post-baby: see NAP-TIME: An enjoyable time spent recreating or relaxing... that I know I should be using for sleep or housework.

Here Honey--Love you!

SEX

Pre-baby: A thing that we enjoyed as much as the next couple

Post-baby: A thing rarely thought of, much less attempted, much less succeeded

MONSTER

Pre-baby: An imaginary being that is scary

Post-baby: An endearment term when our kid growls or devours his food; Also, Lizzie

BABIES CRYING

Pre-baby: An annoying occurance happening to other people, usually in the store, usually provoking thoughts like, "Someone get that kid a boob or a bottle!"

Post-baby: A heart-breaking noise that makes me want to fix whatever is wrong, as fast as possible, and gives me great Mommy-pride when I make it better.

INTUITION

Pre-baby: A good or bad feeling you get on occasion about certain people, places, or events. 

Post-baby: Something you know your kid has when his record for waking up when you lay down is about 8/10. Something you know you have when you start figuring out you know how to be a parent.

In my home... On my home

THE COUCH

Pre-baby: A place to socialize, eat, or watch TV

Post-baby: The comfiest place, lowest to his RockNPlay, nearest the kitchen, and therefore, my new home.

SMILES

Pre-baby: A pretty automatic response to something funny or sweet

Post-baby: On my sons face... I cant even describe the feeling, but its shiny, and somehow instantly makes me cry. Also, gives me some hope that hes happy and Im doing ok.