My little man

That's what I almost exclusively call him when I don't call him Jack. And in a weird way- I see him as a man. Its like- of course he is a baby- but he is a little man. I guess its because men are still sort of this conundrum for me. I still cant believe Jeff and I are going to be raising a man up from this little dude jumping around.

I was looking at this picture of Jeff when he was maybe 2. It was Christmas and he opened a little people's plane set. I thought of his mom and how amazing it must be to have this tall, strong man hug her when she has had him since he was an infant. Of course Jeff isnt perfect, but he doesnt struggle with much. It trips me out that he was ever an immature little teenager, or a mad baby who cant get something, or had his feelings hurt as a kid. He just seems so manly to me. It scares me, because I feel like I know so little about raising a man, but thats one of many really awesome things about having Jeff.

I am not ashamed to say I wanted a girl. Thats beyond weird to me to even type that. Now, that I have a boy, it's like waiting to go on a blind date. I have nooo idea what to expect. Thats so exciting to me! Its like meeting another Jeff, and another me, and another part of my family and my genes. In an even trippy-er way, meeting our parents, grandparents and great grandparents over again. All these people in this one little baby.

I cant imagine what itll be like for our parents to see him. "Hey! Theres a copy of my kid, but small and cute again! And dang- theres really my kid- and now she knows so much more about life. Now's she more me than she was before."

These random ramblings brought to you by one of my most favorite songs