October. oh the highs and lows.

Oct 19th- we got to see our little squirt. He was perfect with a strong heart beat, measuring just a few days behind my due date.

Oct 20th- we were driving home from St. G. About 1/2 way home (aka 25 minutes from a hospital in either direction), I woke and was trying to tell Jeff that he was awesome because he has been. I was slurring my words and I couldnt say what I wanted to. It was the weirdest feeling. My mouth felt like it was running out of batteries.

I panicked. Absolutely panicked. So Jeff was trying to calm me down, but my arm went numb. I seriously thought I had just lost the use of my right arm.

Long, long story short. They found a small hole in my heart (PFO). Im going to a neurologist to confirn TIA (ministroke) and maybe see if Im still at risk.

So fixing it- we probably dont need to. I havent talked to a cardiologist yet (but I will soon!) but from what Ive read most pfo's are treated with blood thinners. Im on baby aspirin for now, but very soon I will probably be a Heparin or Lovenox shot. (Im sooo making Jeff do it! :) )

Oct 27th- I switched doctors because I am not having this baby in the Cedar City hospital. I love my new OB and they instantly got me in with a High Risk OB doctor. And the most important part! I got to the see the baby again. Im far enough along to use the normal ultrasound! He was moving! I couldnt believe he was moving! Having a ball in there.

My Dear Baby

Today, and since the day I found out about you, I have loved you. I am done fearing you might not be here tomorrow. Today, you are here, and so am I, and I get to grow you a little more everyday. Today, I love you, and if you were to leave, I would never love you any less.

Growing you has been hard on my body and heart, my little one. Maybe I should tell my doctor that my heart has been growing out of love since I found out about you. In some moments of weakness, Im not sure how we're going to pull through these next 7 months. I wish I could give you a strong house to grow in. I dont feel like my body is a safe place for you, and I wish I could just have you now.

You still dont feel real, which makes all this even harder. I cant wait to feel you kick. I have already seen your heart. It was beautiful. (It better be stronger than mine!) I cant wait to see your sweet little face. Be safe in there, little one.

You are half an inch, little baby. Yet you are more important to me than anything else. Im honored to tote you around where ever I go.

Stay where you're at til you're ready to meet us. Grow strong. Grow a good heart. And have a ball this week since its the first time you'll move on your own. I love you with all my heart, my little angel.

I hate chickens.

Are you kidding me?

Symptoms... not too terrible... yet...

My first symptoms my boobs hurt. This is very normal for me so didnt think a thing of it. Just waitin for my happy time. Gosh probably a whole week before I found out.

2nd- ouch! Cramps. Again... nothing to make me go "AH HA! Im pregnant!"

3rd- hotter than hell itself.




haha... I wish. More like this...





And my last symptoms- tummy troubles. I dont have "nausea" and "vomitting" -fun- but I cant eat as much. And I pay for it when I do. Stomach cramps, hiccups, burpy (tmi! thanks Jess)and all that jazz. Not fun.

Thats it for now.

Yeppers. Im preggo.

So the big story.

Since we had been trying a couple months (more like 8 but my doctor still called us fertile myrtle and max...) Jeff has noticed that when I let my body tell me about a missed opportunity instead of a pee stick, I tend to take things alot better. Especially since last month was more difficult than usual. So he begged me this month to just let me do my thing and wait it out. I full heartedly agreed with him... until--

I went to the dollar store to pick up some silly halloween stuff to put on the wreath I was making my mom. I was in line, and this stupid little 1 dollar pregnancy test was staring right at me. It was like temptation. So I grabbed it hastily and hid my face a little from the checker. (Seriously... who the hell buys a 1 dollar pregnancy test!)

So I came home, did my thing, and I'll be danged. It was positive. I was almost sick. If that test was lying to me, I would have been devasted. I was so mad at myself for buying a freaking 1 dollar pregnancy test.





So I called my mom frantically. I didnt even say hello, I just said "MOM! IM FREAKING OUT!" And I explained the situation. She agreed with me! Who in their right mind buys a 1 dollar test! But I could tell she was excited. I was getting there too.

I had an excuse to go to Smiths without Jeff being too suspicious. I told him I was going to come buy some food. So I went in, bought my test, hid it in the car, and came back in (because he totally saw me!) I wasnt trying to be sneaky, but I wanted to make sure I was sure before getting his hopes up. So I totally had the other test in my pocket (eww!) and as soon as I talked to him, I broke down and showed him the test. He looked at the test, raised his eyebrows, and looked back at me. He said, "There's a line there!" and I said "I know!" I promised him I'd call him with the better results.

So... it took me 2 hours to restock (you cant drink water because it'll just dilute it) and went and peed on my $10 pee sticks instead. Yeppers. The positive line came faster than the other line.

So I called Jeff and said, "It's positive!" about 100 times, and then called my mom to tell her it was too. I said I felt like I had won the lottery. I found exactly 1 month from my last AF. Aug 27-Sept27. Our month to shine.



Me and my pregnancy boobs (already gone up a cup)