The big update!

So our first try at the big anatomy scan was Jan 10th. That didnt go so well. He was facing down and wouldnt turn over- little stinker.

So we went in yesterday for round 2. We saw his little face which was fun. We got to see his chin, lips and nose (I think he has mama's lips because- holy cow :) ) We did get some not so great news. My water is low. Apparently they like it to be no less than 10 cm and mine was 9. They worry at 7-8 and freak if its under 5. So they want me to take it easy and drink as much water as I physically can. Its most likely from me not drinking enough water.

Another problem with the ultrasounds is the fact that he lays so low and also the placenta is covering him so they have to look through it to get to his organs so its hard to see. They got a good look at everything but his heart.

So I am now scheduled to go back to MFM (the high risk people with fancier u/s machines) in 2 weeks and get another scan. I had to go to them at 10 weeks to make sure everything was ok.

Im also battling a head cold. Boo!

Im very excited that everything looks great so far. However, I guess I feel guilty about some stuff too. Before I got pregnant, I was very no meds. no dopplers. fewest ultrasounds as possible. Well- I used my doppler all the time. Ive had 5 ultrasounds already (albeit only 2 were longer than 10-15 minutes). And Im on aspirin and heparin. I was so freaked out about everything happening, I lost a little faith in my body.

And now my water is low, and I know its from me not drinking enough. I was doing a couple 16 oz water bottles a day. Well thats about 1/2- 1/3 of what I should. I knew that I wasnt getting enough but I thought since I wasnt thirsty I was ok.

So I guess I just feel kind of bad about not trusting my body and not giving it what it needs. Im not beating myself up for it. Things dont always go as planned and they found out about my water before it got bad.

But all my drama aside, the baby looks great! And for that Im very greatful and happy

Pregnancy is not for wusses.

Watching somebody die

Well it finally happened, after 2 years in the hopsital. It was a code blue and I came onto a scene with about 20 people trying to save a life. I always thought Id be really nervous, but I wasnt. Being one who openly admits to not being very "high speed," I was kinda shocked how calm I was watching several rotations of CPR.

It wasnt as sad as I thought it would be. I know that sounds terrible, but that body was done. That heart was done beating. It absolutely sucked to see the family, but the actual death wasnt as mind-blowing as I thought it would be. I do remember thinking of Jeff and praying that wasnt how either one of us goes.

I never realized how hard a person has to work to do the job of a small, but incredible heart. It was insane. Healthy, full grown men sweating and panting as they tried to keep this soul alive. By no means did I think it was a futile effort, but I couldnt help but consider how easily a person keeps himself alive, and much effort it takes out of a person to try to "run" someone else.

I, sitting there tapping on my belly as I wait there (I was completely useless, but we have to stay in case they need anything blood-wise), I realized that I kind of dont matter much. My thoughts on the whole thing didnt matter. As I got out of the way of the family, I saw what I interpretted as a dread- almost a 'this is it' look on their faces. No one appreciates their family enough- but for a second- I could.

I walked past the room on my way out, and didnt even look in. I wasnt curious. I still to this day have not seen a truly dead body. Like this person, I saw the team stop CPR, but I didnt see the actual moment. I didnt need to. It was their moment. I was busy thinking about the supernatural kindness in and around people that is way too easily lost.

The possibility to be kind to that person dies with them. You could never hold that hand, and you could never make that heart feel warm. That soul was gone. In my opinion someone can never be loved too much

Wow. Amazing... and disgusting!

Had fun playing with this for a few minutes

Nursery Post

My inspirations :)

Someone finally guessed I was pregnant!

So I didnt think I was really showing yet, but I guess little old ladies have a knack for seeing things others are too busy to notice.

She looked at my stomach then at me and said "Are you having a baby?" I laughed and said, "Im not THAT far along yet!" and she laughed too. She told me thats ok. She told me about how she was 9 wks late when her baby kicked her husband's hand. He jumped and she said she was going to the doctor in the morning. How cute!

How to make a pregnant woman cry

Hi everybody!

Our little sweet pea!