When your kid licks your thumb the entire time you text and you don't even think twice
When you're glad you've been doing baby-led weaning because where the hell did he get that piece of chicken?
When your anti-anxiety meds make you laugh hysterically at the doctor's machine measuring your kid's oxygen levels because it's flashing "No fingers!"
When you look over at your kid who's gnawing on a squishy Wii remote in his sleep because he is a rabid chipmunk.
When you only notice that dried snot all over his face when you run into someone you know
When you park all the way across the parking lot to park next to a cart corral
When you are on your 4th keyboard
When you have $300 worth of toys scattered around your entire house and he wants your work badge
When the locked seat belt's clicking as you release your car seat wakes up your kid after you just spent $3 in gas and an hour in the car
When your birth control isn't supposed to make you gain weight and you are up 15 pounds since you got it.
When you beg people with facial piercings to be really... really... watchful when they hold him.
When your husband wants to put lime green socks on him when he is wearing red and black
When you finally get that booger on a tissue and it falls into his mouth and you both make the same face
When you ask your husband why your son's balls keep disappearing
When your kid thinks Scrat from Ice Age is as funny as you think he do.
When your kid likes Ellie Goulding.
When your kid has an impossible cowlick on top of his head.
When people say that he has your cheeks... when his cheeks look like they have his winter stockpile stuffed in there.
When your kid intently stares at you naked.
When you question if you should get dressed or let them be educated.
When your 2 year premature potty training pin tells you to let them watch you poop.
When you cant watch scary movies because you don't know what he understands.
When you hear your husband humming the Pajanimals theme.
